that cliche, life always turn around, sometimes you’ll feel super happy and in a second, all’s gone. end. sad sad and just sad. and this week, my life is spinning around with super fast .
honestly, i never thought it’ll be happen.
i have some moodbooster. books. friends. family. chocolate. listening some owl city’s, onedirection’s, maroon5’s or adele’s songlist. and someone i called asw. my ultimate moodbooster.
unfortunately, sometimes (or almost everytime now) . he being a moodcrusher.
he was my ex. and i’m not shy to declare that i’m still on him. my mind . my heart too.
our habit are talking on phone through the night. share everything. talking. laughing. teasing each other. and i don’t know why it makes me comfort when i heard he talks,sings,jokes, called me kepo. i just happy listen his voice. that’s why i called him mood booster, cause just with hear his voice, my mind keep calm, i can smile even i fall and feel so sad till i want to cry. just cause of him.
and without i realize, i already very deep into him. i’m in love with him. till now.
oh,the problem was : he isn’t. and he already has a new love in his life.
so the problem is on me,right? why i still keep that feel?
i . just dunno.
i can’t let this feel.
i’m try, looking for another. trying to not call or text him. but it so hard for me. i always fail.
until last week. he call me. and tell me not to contact him anymore. cause his gf was mad to him, and tell to not contact me, or they will not be together again.finished.
and i was shocked.
hurt, cause i’ll not be able to contact him again. and because i made them fall out because of me.
but i realize i have to . stop contact him, so i did.
i was hurt, so damn pain. and i try to recovery it with hidden it. pretend to be busy with my pkm, my organization, hang out with someother. make a call with others, especially danu.
untill wednesday. he was called. and said sorry.
and i was so weak. i let he in again. i’m open my heart again. i hope into him again.
and today. he gone. again.
well, i cry . a lot.
cause my stupidity. cause my fault. cause i can’t use my mind, my logic mind . especially if it involve him.
i’m not blame him. this all my fault.
and i write on here to declare my stupid.
sorry, asw :’)